Start Small: The Road to Becoming a Solo Traveler

Start Small.  These words always seem to surface on the topic of solo travel.  The idea is to get those considering solo travel comfortable with shorter, closer to home trips before divinginto an extended adventure.  I get it.  But for me, starting small has a deeper meaning.  My number one SOLA Travel Tip is to have self confidence.  A great way to build self confidence is by allowing yourself to be in situations where you only have yourself to rely on.  Not following?  Keep reading.

Truth be told, I haven’t always been a solo traveler.  I’ve traveled in groups of four and groups of 14.  That’ll convert anyone right?  Surprisingly, my journey to going solo didn’t start with a trip at all.  It started with learning to become comfortable with my own company. I learned the hard way that if I waited on others to do what I wanted to do, I would spend many days at home alone watching Vicky Cristina Barcelona.  It’s a great movie.  But, after my solo trip to Barcelona, I’m happily content knowing that I visited every place in the movie…except Oviedo of course.  

Where did I start?  First, I began going to the movies by myself.  Sound small right?  Well, for someone who had only been to the movies with boyfriends and best friends, it was a big deal.  Guess what I discovered?  Tons of people go to movies alone.  I was behind the times.  I had to step it up a bit.  Since I adore live performances, my next experience was a ticket for one to see Dreamgirls The Musical.  Boy was I glad I didn’t let my fear of going solo keep me from such a powerful performance.  As with traveling solo, hanging out solo requires certain precautions.  When I can, I choose the matinee performance of a musical or play.  If the show is only at night, I park within a block of the venue so that I’m not walking alone for extended periods of time.  This of course means that I pay an astronomical price for parking.  But hey, no amount is too great for safety.

I love music, so it makes sense that a “forced” solo concert experience would be my next challenge.  I do use the term “forced” lightly.  Picture this…The Heart of the City Tour, with Mary J. Blige and Jay-Z live in concert.  Can you believe that my friends expected me to purchase nose bleed seats?  To know me is to know that I don’t do far back, unless the tickets are complimentary.  I have to feel as though I’m a part of the show.  I had a decision to make.  Do I forgo an up close Mary J. experience for the sake of friends?  Or, do I leap into the unknown?  Well, I wanted the $165 seats and a $165 seat is exactly what I got.  This is where it gets awesome.  My entire row was filled with people attending solo just like me.  We rocked it!  Talk about concert karma.  

   

By far, the hardest thing for me to accomplish was having dinner alone.  Not at the restaurant bar.  At a table.  With an empty seat across from me.  I remember all the questions that ran through my mind.  Would it feel awkward?  Were people going to look at me strangely?  The answer to all of those questions is yes.  But, as with anything, the more you do it, the better you become at it.  It was especially important for me to conquer this fear.  How could I even fathom having tapas at a beach side cafe in Barcelona if I couldn’t manage to get through lunch at a bar in Buckhead?  

These small steps helped me to glide gracefully into my first solo trip to New Orleans in 2009.  Nothing beats going where you want, when you want.  I like getting up at the crack of dawn without worrying if I’m waking my friends.  I don’t miss having to vote on where to eat.  I cherish not having to wait on people to get dressed.  Most importantly, I like not having to take anyone else’s needs, wants, and desires into consideration while traveling.  Sound selfish?  I can live with that.  Start small.  Go solo.